Since ancient times, man has sought power.  It’s interesting to think about how that came about, the concept of wanting power instead of simply surviving and keeping your family (pack) safe.  The strongest hunters became leaders of their tribes and natural selection took care of the weakest.  But as our society grew and advanced, intellect began to surpass strength through tools and innovation.  Strength gave way to manipulation (Leadership in it’s most open form, and deception on the other end) and numbers became far more powerful than any individual.  Thus was the rise of man, and eventually the ideals of society and theology.  Perhaps sometime I’ll go into the rest of how I feel that developed, but I’m trying NOT to bore you.  My point is that to this day we have antiquated systems of control in place with which to steer the masses in the direction the controllers please.  And who ARE those controllers?  It’s hard to answer because they exist on so many levels.

On the surface many answer to god.  I also believe in god, but my god does not seek to control me himself or through anyone claiming to be his (or her.. see? even I have a predisposition to assign a male gender to a higher being!) representative.   At no point will I claim to be a representative of this god’s authority either.  My spirituality is personal.  Regardless, the authority of god is by far the most often used tool of control/oppression of the masses.  The logical holes in most of these doctrines are blatant, and yet people ignore that and continue to believe because people have to believe in something, especially if they can’t figure out how to believe in themselves their own purpose.  I will never tell anyone (including many of my religious friends) that they are wrong, because I’m willing to admit that I don’t know.  But I will say that I very often disagree with what people do and do not do in the name of religion. (Especially those that are clearly bias and repressive toward women…)  I cannot, and will not buy into it.  Those that use antiquated, unfair and abusive rules of religion, society or tradition to repress and damage people will never be my friends and under certain circumstances could easily become a personal enemy.

I am not a “good” man by any means.  But I strive to be an honest one.  It’s my belief that the more honest we our with ourselves and those around us, the better we can understand this life.  I seek experience, pleasure  and happiness for myself with no malice or desire to harm anyone else.  In some cases, that might end up being “wrong” to some of you, but I won’t ever force my ways on to you and it doesn’t feel wrong to me.  So  welcome to a small bit of my life.  Welcome to the grey area.