Every so often I reach a fantastic state of just being. Where literally nothing matters and I become detached from everything and connected to everything at the same time. (And no, no substances are involved.) I’m certain anyone who reads this will instantly label it as something specific.
The best way I can describe it, is nothing. It is not light, or dark. It is not the emptiness that tugs on your soul, nor is it the light warmth that radiates from your chest. It is truth. It simply is. Because above all else, everything that exists on this planet is simply doing just that: existing. Sometimes for just a little while, that’s enough. Ego strips away, and even life and death are just another part of existence.
The realization comes that the only things that matter are what we allow to matter. You can actually choose to not care. But I don’t mean careless, and I don’t mean carefree (I think it’s funny how those concepts have near-opposite connotations when they mean virtually the same thing.) What I mean is that you can choose to think without feeling. Act without emotion. Accomplish without stress or pressure.
A lot of meditation teaches that peace is nothingness. At the same time it is everything, or rather, being connected to everything without regard to ego. It’s true that when you can discard the idea of self, all the things that were negative in your life go with it, and stay gone until regain yourself. As the Grandmaster I once served would say; “it is a mini-vacation.”
It is a powerful thing to be able to operate in this detached state. I find that patience is simple. Emotions may leak through; a moment of frustration or a smile at something amusing, but they cannot stick. You are either high, nor low. You are the center, and you do not move form there for very long unless you choose to.
However, though it may be ideal and enlightened to stay in this state, I never do for long. I think that remaining indefinitely neutral defeats the purpose of this life… this stage of our existence. Instead I slip in and out of it, so that I might experience worldly pleasures and seek the highs that life’s experiences can give me. By doing this, I naturally risk sadness, loneliness and loss and it’s not always easy to discard those right away. But it’s a good practice to return to the center often enough to think clearly. It lends perspective and allows you to look at your life objectively so that you can decide what you want to keep and what you should avoid / discard.
More importantly it lets you rest. Being caught in the torrent of emotions all-day, every day can easily wear you down, and while sleep is a great remedy, for many it does not come easily. So especially if you cannot sleep, try to teach yourself to let go for just a little while. Learn to stop all the superficial worries, feelings and ego in order to disengage society and simply exist. If you start with a little you might find it becomes easier and easier to control over time.